What does God’s presence in our problems look like?

Before the new year, Tim encouraged me to reflect upon the wins and losses of 2021.  It was a painful process.  2021 was a tough year for many and I was no exception.  I had losses in three core areas: career, writing, and Kenya Relief.  I wasn’t sure how to process these defeats and my exercise in reflection quickly spiraled into a gateway for depression.

A friend recently shared the key point to her pastor’s sermon.  Sometimes God prepares the path for you. Sometimes He prepares you for the path. Psalm 23 This tied in neatly with a truth I shared with Kenya Relief Team 6. God doesn’t promise we won’t have problems. He promises His presence despite our problems. 

My losses demonstrated the reality of these two truths.

1. Career.  In many respects, COVID wreaked havoc on healthcare.  The climate of fear, stress, and frustration has made it difficult for many to cope, tempers have flared, and unkind words shared.  In 2021, my ability to have a career was subject to a stranger’s decision. It was unnerving and demoralizing to realize twenty years into my career it could be arbitrarily taken from me.

But my turmoil did not preclude His presence.  During an otherwise quiet holiday shift, the Code Caesarn alarm sounded.  I quickly jogged down three flights of stairs before entering the OR. The patient was moving to the OR bed as tears streamed down her face. I looked her in the eyes and said, We are going to take very good care of you and your baby.  She mustered as much courage as possible and nodded her head in agreement. Within five minutes, the patient was asleep and the baby was delivered from her belly.

Two days later, I visited the young girl in her room and re-introduced myself.  Immediately, tears began to fall as she was once again confronted with the fear and trauma of an emergency c-section. As I reached for a box of tissues, I noticed a Bible on her shelf. For the next few moments, God gave me the opportunity to speak hope and healing into a young girl’s life I would otherwise never be given the privilege to meet.

2.     Writing.  The year started with a defeat.  My book proposal was not selected as a finalist for the Book Proposal Bootcamp.  Afterward, I sensed God leading me to approach several writers in my group about creating a joint writing website.  I was almost deflated by the prospect. I had a sense of how difficult it might be for 5 women to create one site.  The remainder of the year entailed weekly meetings of God pruning me as we strategized to develop a ministry website.  I spent little time writing, but a lot of time wrestling with God.

One of the most exciting aspects of our venture is our hope to quickly offer readers different writing niches.  Alyssa has struggled with addiction, Mackenzie-shame, Sue–resistance, Dawn-temptation, and me–unfulfillment.  It sounds simple but I struggled to convert one two-and-half-year journey to a water well into a two-word niche.  But then God gave me the words–Unfulfillment to Fulfillment.  Then He revealed the divine mystery and power hidden in the word fulfillment and why it exactly encapsulated the truths He taught me through our journey to the well.  God gave me a deeper truth hidden in a year of wrestling with Him.  Check it out From Unfulfillment to Fulfillment — Freed to Flourish.  My post on Unfulfillment to Fulfilment will be highlighted on the website and IG @freed2flourish.  I would be sincerely grateful for any and all support.  Feeling a little intimated.

 

3. Kenya Relief. For three years, I have tried to spearhead Kenya Relief’s first Breast Cancer Screening Medical Mission. COVID has consistently thwarted my efforts.  The mission canceled in 2020 and 2021 due to COVID. In October I learned I had an unexpected conflict with traveling with the team in March 2022.   As a consultation, they needed me to continue to strategize team and mission development.  It didn’t feel like much of a consultation.  I didn’t mind the work if this was God’s will, but it made me doubt if my labor had been in vain and outside the will of God.

Part of team development is preparing the team for what lies ahead.  Often, I will share God’s truth as I communicate logistical realities.   A team member shared a few words that had helped her overcome her hesitations.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  She had unintentionally credited Steve (founder of Kenya Relief) with words I had shared in a previous email.

 

It was at that moment I realized, God was giving me the opportunity to do what He has called me to do.  I am passionate about sharing God’s Word with others, mostly through writing.  In all three areas of 2021 defeat, God allowed me to share Him with others.  Sometimes, I had to peddle anesthesia, sometimes, a website, sometimes  I needed to lead a mission trip I don’t even get to go on.  But the ultimate purpose of all these endeavors is to enter into sacred places of people’s lives and offer them hope and healing through a relationship with Jesus.

Looking ahead to 2022, I hope we will all continue to discern God’s presence despite our problems. I’m looking forward to writing for Freed to Flourish and I hope you will subscribe.  This site may become less active as my focus will shift towards our joint writing venture at www.FreedtoFlourish.com.  I’m excited to offer women one site with a variety of Christ-centered content to address the range of struggles we or our loved ones face. I’m still working towards sharing our story in book format one day.

Believing 2022 will be a breakthrough year!!!