Believing Him…

Many years ago, a dear friend successfully completed her masters program.  Instead of immediately pursing an opportunity in her field of study, she chose to work at a ski resort in Colorado.  Her father warned her….”If you do this, hell is sure to follow.”.  And although I have chuckled often over her father’s words of warning, I have also empathized with my friend. My friend certainly believed in her father, she just didn’t believe her father.

I am no stranger to the concept.

Learning to say yes to God hinges on our ability to believe God, our willingness to trust Him.

Matthew 16:25 says…For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 

For years, I believed in Jesus as my savior, but I struggled to believe this verse.  I struggled to believe God.

When the Holy Spirit whispered Africa into my spirit as a teenager, it didn’t sound good.  It didn’t look good.  It didn’t feel good.  I could not fathom how moving thousands of miles away from anyone I knew or loved could be good.  I couldn’t understand what life could be found on a continent where people suffered from extreme poverty, famine and battled malaria and HIV.

I could not understand how the verse could possibly be true.  And instead of trusting the truth of God’s word, I leaned into my own understanding.  I rolled the dice and decided to go with my own feeble logic.

And much like my friend above, I eventually learned my Father was right.

Leaning into my own understanding, left me chasing the wrong gods and asking the wrong questions for more than a decade.   The only fruit it produced was frustration, loneliness, discontentment, shame and depression.  My physical life may have prospered but my soul didn’t.  There was no lasting rest, peace, joy or satisfaction.  It felt like chasing the wind.

Learning to believe God, trust God, is the only way to spiritual maturity.  It’s not enough to believe in Him.  We must believe Him.  Believe Him when it doesn’t sound good or feel good.  Believe Him enough to act on what He has commanded.  It’s a leap of faith.  But it’s a leap grounded in an unchanging, all-knowing and faithful God.