When people we love, add to our hurt…

It’s a painful reality.  People we love add to our hurt.  Sometimes intentionally, most of the times unintentionally.  But when it does occur, the cut is deep and hardly forgotten.

People let us down.  They say things they shouldn’t.  They don’t show up when they should.  They scatter instead of sticking.  And sometimes opinions, judgements and criticisms flow freer than love, mercy or grace.

Job’s friends were no exception.  At the height of despair, Job turned to his friends and exclaimed:

“…you are miserable comforters, all of you!!” (Job, 16:2)

Unfortunately, Job’s friends were not a source of comfort or strength.  I think they added salt to his wound. The same is true for us. 

Sometimes, we turn to love ones for comfort, strength or support.  And sometimes, like Job, we find hurt instead of help.

I want us to recognize reality. Sometimes the people we look to for support, will fail. However, we know the One who will never fail. The One who is the source of all comfort, wisdom and hope. So in times of duress, let’s be careful not to rely more on friends than on the Father.

One of the hard parts about people we love letting us down, is the hurt cuts deep and can become a stumbling block. In addition to the original hardship, we are now confronted with the need to pray, forgive and bless the very people who have added to our hurt.

Job led the way in chapter 42…

First, God noticed that Job’s friends had led Job astray and did not speak the truth about Him. (verse 7) He held them accountable. God required them make an atonement for their sin. (verse 8)

So the next time we realize we have offered opinions or advice contrary to the Word, we too need to need make atonement–confess, repent and thank God for the blood of the lamb that washes away our sins.

The second half of verse 8 gets interesting. It says “My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.”

This is tough. Job was called to pray for those that had added salt to his wound. Not only did he need to forgive them, he had to take action and intercede for them. We too have been called to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. (Matthew, 5:44) And when someone we love hurts us (either intentionally or unintentionally) during a season of hardship, they start feeling a little more like enemies and the wounds they inflict like persecution.

But something amazing happened in verse 10.

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.”

God restored Job’s fortune. He actually blessed him with twice as much as he had had before. But notice, when.

God restored Job’s fortune AFTER Job prayed for his friends.

Sometimes I think I take God’s Word as if it’s optional. Sure, I should pray for those who hurt me but I don’t have too, or maybe I will later. And maybe that’s true. But maybe when I omit the Word of God, I’m also forfeiting a blessing God has in mind for me. And maybe after a season of suffering, a blessing is the last thing I want to forfeit.

Lord, help me to remember there is only ONE who will never leave me or forsake. Help me to remember you are my ultimate source of comfort, wisdom and hope. Help me see those around me as they are, imperfect people, living in an imperfect world sometimes just doing the best they can. And when they add salt to my wound, help me to choose to forgive them, pray for them and bless them. Help me to realize my love for You is a choice and not a feeling. Lord, remind me that you really do have good things in mind for me, even when I can’t see it or feel it. And Lord, remind me sometimes the fastest way to the good things you have in mind for me, is to love those who hurt me.

Thanks for joining me as we have scraped the surface on the topic of suffering. I hope we have all been reminded of a few practical applications from the book of Job. For those interested in a deeper study on suffering, please consider the book below. Tripp writes as both a theologian and a person acquainted personally with suffering. I have enjoyed how he approaches suffering on earth through an eternal lens. It may prove to be a valuable resource for you on what God’s Word says about suffering.