I love when God shows up BIG.

I love a good parting of the Red Sea.

I love that Elijah prayed for fire to fall from heaven.  And God did it.  Just so the Israelites and the prophets of Baal would know once and for all that “you, O LORD are God.” (1 Kings 18:37)

I even enjoy Jesus stopping Saul in his tracks on the road to Damascus.  Jesus clearly and irrevocably revealed Himself.  He completely changed the trajectory of Saul’s life in one, maybe 2-minute, conversation.

When God shows up BIG, things are less ambiguous.  The way forward seems clearly marked.

But then there’s the still small voice I must contend with. 

 

Move forward one chapter to 1 Kings 19 and there we find the still small voice.  You see God was not in the wind, the earthquake or the fire; rather the still small voice (the whisper).

And although I love when God shows up BIG, most of the time He shows up in the still small voice.  There have been a handful of times in my life when God clearly pressed into my spirt His will for my life.  I love when I have that deep-seated conviction…I know, that I know, that I know…kind of thing.  But that seems to be more of the exception rather than the rule.

And this is where I found myself at She Speaks. In a quandary. As I continue to wrestle with purpose, passion and responsibilities, I find myself at a crossroads of sorts.  Which way to go?

Isaiah 30:21 says “Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.”

And this is what I needed or so desperately wanted.  I wanted to hear…this is the way walk in it.  I remember laying my prostrate heart before the Lord; saying Lord, I need you to show up.  Show up and give me clear direction or next steps.

I don’t mind working hard or exposing my heart to others, but I need to know this is your will.  I need to know I have your anointing to do it.   Frankly, I don’t have the time, energy or money to devote to anything outside the will of God.  But how do you know the will of God?

I went to bed with a heavy heart.  Feeling overwhelmed by this new world of writing I may have entered and intimidated by all the beautiful God-fearing women He is clearly using to change the world for His kingdom; I prayed…Lord, I really need you to show up.

Now before you get too excited, I do not have any seas being parted or fire falling from heaven to report.

I did receive an unexpected text message and had a serendipitous meeting.

I came home. Then, this morning while running, my good friend Joyce (Joyce Meyer) reminded me of a truth.  God expects us to work hard and preserve in His call for our life.  But when we get to that place where we have done all we can do, we sit back and wait for Him to do what only He can do.

God has consistently demonstrated the truth of that statement.  After God clearly pressed the conviction of a water well in Africa into my spirit several years ago, my obedience to stepping out was required.  But I noticed, each time I stepped out in obedience, God revealed the next step.  He only revealed one step at a time.  He squarely placed the responsibilities for certain aspects of the journey on my shoulders.  I had to say yes, I had to work overtime, I had to save money, I had to book airline tickets etc.  But then He did what only He could have done.  He eternally connected me to the ministry He had used to bring conviction to my life.

And then this afternoon I was struggling to get past page 61 of John Bevere’s book Extraordinary.  I started flipping around in the book considering the option to just not finish the book. But then I flipped to a page in a much later chapter that seem to speak directly to the quandary I find myself in.

So now, as I have considered setting the month of August a part as a time to really seek God’s will regarding my struggle, I’m starting to wonder…Is God whispering?

 

Lord, I love that you promise I will find you when I seek  you with all my heart. (Jer. 29:13) I love that you promise I will hear the voice behind me saying… this is the way    walk in it.  And I love that you  remind me that sometimes  the  voice sounds more like a whisper rather than an earh-quake.  Lord, I pray  that you will quiet my heart and my   mind so that my spirit may hear the whisper of your will.