I need to obey to the Spirit more.

Last year, I knew God wanted me to increase my fasting, but I did not want to do it.   I don’t like fasting.  I like to eat, so I did not increase my fasting.

In February of this year, I knew God wanted me to write a letter.

During our lunch break at work, a friend shared her story.  It was a story of heartache and disappointment.  As I listened to her bravely share this story, I stood amazed.  Amazed by her transparency, her vulnerability and her willingness to share this heartache with me.  She is not a believer and I was not even sure she considered me a friend.  As she laid her burden down, the Spirit burned within me, tell her I love her.  I knew God wanted me to write her a letter explaining how much He loved her and how His heart broke as her heart broke.

I put the letter off.  After all, it would be awkward.  She would think I’m crazy, telling her “God told me to tell you how much He loves you.”

During the same period, my spirit was pricked regarding a friend of mine.  My friend lives far away but I deeply value the relationship.  It is a friendship rooted in God.  God asked me to speak into my friend’s life.  For weeks, God pressed into me.  But I did not want to do it.  My words would be words of caution and not encouragement and I feared they would not be well received.  I rationalized that my prayers would be enough.  Who was I to speak into my friend’s life?  I am not my friend’s Counselor, or advisor, or accountability partner.  And who’s to say I am even right?  Maybe this is my flesh and not God after all.  So, for 3 months I said nothing.  But, God would not relent.  Finally, I knew I had to say something, if for no other reason than to get God off my back.

As my prayer partner and I prayed over the decision to say something and the words to be said, I continued to hesitate.  Wanting yet, another “sign”.  My prayer partner then began to share how she had taught about King Saul on Sunday.  As she re-hashed the lesson, God clearly spoke into my spirit.

Dana, are you Saul?  Are you a man pleaser or a God pleaser?

 

God had my attention.  You see, Saul lost his kingdom and his anointing because he was more concerned about pleasing his men then obeying God.  Lord, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be Saul.  I don’t want to be a man pleaser.  I want to be a God pleaser.  I can’t afford to lose you Lord, lose your anointing.

As soon as we hung up the phone, I sent the email. My friend responded immediately seeking clarity.  I hesitated.  The next day, I sent another email with more bible verses praying the Holy Spirit would reveal, discern to my friend any conviction that may be warranted.

The following month, I learned everything changed the day I sent the first email.  When my friend received my email, they were hours away from one of the biggest decisions of their lives.

It made me think.  What if I had sent the email weeks before as God had pressed into me?  I had no idea the extent of the situation.  I was blindsided.  Never really saw it coming.  But my spirit did.  My spirit was pricked even though I had not spoken to my friend in weeks/months.  My spirit flared.  I was convicted to speak into them.  My spirit was aware of that which my flesh was not.

Why do I always seem to believe I have time?  Believe that I don’t need to obey God “right now”.  I can put my obedience off, as if it is optional?

The truth is slow obedience is no obedience.

And it may have nothing to do with the actual people or circumstances related.  It may simply be God wanting to know if I can be trusted with the “now”.   Can He trust me to move when He moves?  Can He trust me to speak when He speaks?  Can He trust me to stay when He stays?

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”  Isaiah 30:21

What’s the point of hearing His voice, if I don’t walk in it?  If I don’t obey it?  If I can’t be trusted?

The truth is when I don’t fast when He tells me to fast, I am demonstrating I don’t trust Him.  When I don’t send the letter, I demonstrate I don’t believe Him.  And when I don’t send the email, I effectively say…I trust me more than you Lord.

Matthew 17 and Mark 9 recount the story of the son possessed by a demon.  The disciples had been unable to cast the demon out, so they brought the son to Jesus.  Jesus rebuked the demon and the boy was healed.  Later the disciples asked Jesus privately why they had not been able to cast the demon out.   Jesus answered, “[But this kind of demon does not go out except by prayer and fasting.]” Matt 17:21 AMP

The point being, the disciples didn’t know what kind of demon they were going to be confronted with that day.  But they learned …they weren’t prepared for the battle before them.  Jesus was prepared.  He had spent a lot of time praying and fasting.

So, when the Spirit convicts me to fast, I need to fast.  I don’t know what lies ahead, but He does.

When God says to write the letter, I need to write the letter…NOW.  When God says to send the email, I need to seed the email…NOW.  And when God says to fast, I need to fast…NOW.

After all, how different would the story have been; if when God told Moses to lift up his staff and hold out his hand over the Red Sea…Moses said “I’ll do it tomorrow???”

 

Lord, teach me to lift up my staff and stretch out my hand, now.  Don’t leave me here.  Don’t give up on me.  Get me to where I need to be in you.  I want to witness the seas being parted, the blind being made to see, the deaf being made to hear and the mute being made to speak.  I want to see the sick healed and the dead raised.  Forgive me, Lord, for believing the lie that I have time.

Now is the time, this is the day of salvation.